How to authentically network
The word “networking” has always made me uncomfortable.
My immediate reaction to it is that it feels inauthentic. Like how can you deliberately make professional connections in the hope that those connections might later benefit your career through a promotion, a new job, a recommendation, or an invitation?
There is something in me that resists that idea. Perhaps it is an anti-utilitarian instinct. Perhaps it is a Gen Z suspicion of anything that feels rehearsed, transactional, or fake. Even saying the word “networking” can feel awkward.
But why? And is it actually inauthentic?
I think there are certainly ways of networking that feel false. We all recognise them immediately: the person who comes on too strongly, who smiles too widely, laughs too quickly, agrees with everything you say, and seems desperate to be liked. Out of politeness, people often respond positively in the moment, but after, there is usually a sense that the interaction was hollow.
The fakeness reminds me of a line from high school Macbeth “Life’s but a poor player / that struts and frets his hour upon the stage” – about how the actors and the audience buy into the illusion of the play when they come to the theatre.
And no one would deny that networking is important. It’s a means of getting to know other people and letting people know your skillset.
There are countless books and guides on how to network step by step, but I think the core of effective networking, or at least networking that does not come across as fake, is having a strong sense of self.
A few lines of honest self-reflection can go a long way. Who are you? Where do you come from? What are you undeniably good at? Where do you want to go? That kind of confidence anchors you because you no longer need to win the approval of everyone in the room.
But confidence alone is not enough. It also requires curiosity.
Networking is a two-way street. You are there not only to present yourself, but also to learn about other people. Networking is not only about finding the exact opportunity you are already looking for. It is also about exposing yourself to possibilities you would never have considered on your own.
You may meet someone with energy, conviction, and momentum. Someone who is building something interesting, who has a clear direction in life, or who genuinely enjoys teaching and guiding other people. Connecting with people like this can energise you. It can also sharpen your sense of who you are and what you want.
Once you have confidence and curiosity, presentation matters. This does not mean becoming robotic or copying someone else’s version of professionalism. In fact, part of networking well is presenting yourself in a way that feels distinctly your own. The way you speak, greet yourself, carry yourself, dress, or introduce yourself all become part of your personal signature.
It helps to have a short line ready.
“Hi, I’m Mike. I’m studying business and I’m passionate about interior design solutions”
A line like that demonstrates confidence, direction, and energy. It signals that you have thought about who you are and where you are heading.
In the end, authentic networking is about presenting your clearest and most confident self while remaining open to the possibility that another person might change the direction of your life. Fake networking usually comes from a lack of reflection. If you do not know who you are, you end up performing a version of yourself that you think other people want to see.
Confidence + curiosity + presentation = authentic networking.
